What do we mean by flirting

Flirting means very different things to different people. Nowadays, flirting just means the words and actions we use to indicate to another that we find them attractive and would like to date them. There is nothing intrinsically wrong with letting another person know you are attracted to them.

As we enter puberty, it’s very natural to start to develop feelings for other people. Both you and those of the opposite sex will naturally start to want to build a relationship. A natural way people go about testing the water with someone is by flirting with them; but what should this look like?

Where to start

If you are attracted to another, start by trying to develop a friendship with them. How and what this will look like will be completely circumstantial but try and be as genuine and honest in your dealings with them, and the Lord will bless your friendship.

There is nothing wrong with being playful with the person and going out of your way to meet them. Just make sure integrity motivates your tactics. Do you actually like them in their entirety or just the idea of them? Get to know them before actively trying to start a relationship because if they turn out to be different to what you imagined they may feel ‘led on’, even though this was unintentional.

The best approach is to make your intentions for purity clear, and make sure that your words and actions convey the same message.

Recognise your own value in Christ

Before we can love another fully, the most important thing we can do is to realise only God can completely satisfy our deepest desires for love. The more we reflect upon and accept this, the easier and healthier our relationships with others will be.

When we experience the selfless love of God, it takes the pressure off our partner to completely satisfy us, while also teaching us not to accept half-hearted care from them. Most importantly, it teaches us how we can selflessly love our partner as much as possible.

As Mother Teresa often said, “Stay close to Jesus. He loves you.” By the side of Christ, we find our independence. When we stand beside Christ, he reveals our worth to us, and we begin to expect deeper, truer love from others.